Tips for a Personalized Memorial Service

In the same way that individuals brainstorm the ideal wedding venue or the perfect song to be played at an anniversary party, the details of an end-of-life service can also come together to create an entirely personalized memorial. 

The Traditional Sense 

Does it throw you off to see the planning of a memorial service compared to the planning of a wedding? That will be the case for many. Traditionally, funeral homes present death as something to be mourned somberly; in a pastel-wallpapered room; using hushed tones. Opportunities for personalization are fairly limited, yet over time we’ve come to accept these types of funerals as the way these things go. We at Lighten are dedicated to curating uplifting alternatives that are unique to the identity of your loved one. In this article, we provide starting points to help you answer the question, “What would be the ultimate personalized memorial?” 

Personalized Memorial Service Planning 

When close friends and family can land in a shared space to plan a memorial, suggestions will flow more freely and frequently. But due to geographic and environmental restrictions, there isn’t always an opportunity for this to happen in person. Typically, only one or two people take on the responsibility of visiting the funeral home, picking out the flowers, etc., leaving the potential ideas of other loved ones unrealized. 

The first step in planning your personalized memorial might be to choose who you want to be involved. Ask friends and family members who can best speak to the unique characteristics of the loved one, with the intention of bringing each of those aspects to life. Next, find common ground on which to meet – literally or virtually. (Lighten offers an online planning portal and video conference consultations to allow individuals to plan from anywhere). The important thing is that your team, along with the help of a dedicated planner, builds an environment that encourages ideas for celebration. 

The “Little Things” 

All of the “little things” that go into planning an end-of-life celebration truly make it a personalized memorial. This may be a good time to sit down and ask yourself what would make your loved one smile? What would make them think, “Only at my memorial would this happen!” 

At Lighten, we’ve helped families bring the most unique ideas to life; including a personal reflection from the loved one’s dog followed by the closing song, “Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die” by Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg. Another celebration we curated was for a proud commercial airline pilot and their celebration included a video of the last flight he ever flew. 

Consider the list of memorial details below as a starting place. Who knows what totally unique ideas you will come up with. 

1. Your loved one’s favorite songs or a song of significance (i.e. their wedding song)
2. A date of significance. Could you plan the memorial to take place on an anniversary or birthday? 
3. Out-of-the-box flowers. Would your loved one prefer more color over the traditional white arrangements? 
4. Organize a group volunteer activity. Choose a charity near and dear to your loved one and set a date for friends and family to lend a helping hand. 
5. Parting gifts. Is there a keepsake you would like guests to walk away with, either in addition to or instead of a traditional prayer card? 

Memorial Venue  

Step out of the somber funeral home and into an uplifting space. A few things to consider when choosing the venue for your loved one’s personalized memorial are: 

• Experience – What kind of experience best suits your loved one? An intimate, candlelit ceremony or a boisterous event? Jot down a list of inspirations to share with your memorial service consultant. Together you can collaborate on the perfect in-person venue. Alternatively, discuss how the experience you’re envisioning can be translated into a custom-designed virtual format.
• Ease of Gathering – Are relatives scattered across the country? You may consider a personalized online memorial to ensure the attendance of everyone your loved one would want present. 
• Format – “Online” doesn’t have to strictly mean a video conference. Some of the most personalized memorials are those that utilize pre-recorded material; whether that be home videos, favorite movie clips, video messages from family and friends, or excerpts from your pre-recorded ceremony. You also have the opportunity to combine both an experiential gathering and the convenience of virtual services through a hybrid format. 

Through a combination of technology, location, and curated experience, the memorial venue becomes so much more than a place. Rather, it is an expression of your loved one’s personality.  

We hope to have offered you a helpful start to your personalized memorial planning journey. Both the celebration itself and the planning process are unique experiences. And we want you to know that you do not need to feel alone. If you’re ready to consult with a member of our team, please reach out.